MartyT

You're Invited! Festival of Hope Virtual Gathering Engaging in family-focused holidays that are laced with memories of our loved ones can be really challenging. When our hearts hurt, connecting with our community provides a unique comfort. Soaring Spirits will be offering our Festival of Hope Virtual Gathering to provide an opportunity to honor our loved ones, immerse ourselves in the unique understanding of being with our community, and to share our wishes for each other in the year ahead. Join us on December 20th at 5:00PM for this community gathering. Your Soaring Spirits team will be there with holiday light and love. The event is FREE to attend, but you'll need to register to get the Zoom information. Register here. Save My Spot

My dear, I just want you to know that your words have been read and your voice has been heard. Meanwhile, I am concerned for your safety, and if you're thinking of suicide, I urge you to read this first. As you already know, our site is not intended for individuals who are in crisis and actively contemplating suicide ~ but that does not mean that you have nowhere else to turn. 988 has been designated as the new three-digit dialing code that will route callers to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. When you call, text, or chat 988, you will be connected to trained counselors that are part of the existing National Suicide Prevention Lifeline network. These trained counselors will listen, understand how your problems are affecting you, provide support, and connect you to resources if necessary. If you are experiencing serious suicidal thoughts that you cannot control, please stop now and telephone 988 or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, 1-800-273-TALK (8255). Using your smart phone, contact the Crisis Text Line by texting HOME to 741741. I gently remind you that the information offered on this site is not meant in any way to substitute for professional or medical advice. Our forums are offered as a supplement to ~ not as a substitute for ~ sharing with a trusted other (relative, friend, neighbor, clergy, colleague), participating in an in-person grief support group or meeting with a professional grief counselor or therapist. I urge you to let your healthcare provider know of the concerns you've shared with us here, and ask what resources might be available in your community so you can get the help you so badly need and deserve. I believe that grief counseling and individual psychotherapy are among the most precious gifts we can choose to give to ourselves, and they can change our lives for the better. That is what I wish for you! ❤️

If it's happening to you, then I would say that it is normal for YOU ~ in the sense that it fits with how you've been reacting to the sudden, unexpected death of your father. As for what you can do to stop thinking that way, there are lots of suggestions you can find online to help. See, for example, How to Stop Instrusive Thoughts. You might also bring this up as one of the talking points to discuss with your therapist. ❤️

Please let us know, if you're willing. Meanwhile, know that you are in our thoughts and prayers as we hope for the best for you. ❤️

Resilient Parenting for Bereaved Families FREE Informational Webinar Wednesday, November 8, 2023 Noon-12:45pm ET Presented by Irwin Sandler, PhD Parenting children after the death of a parent while also grieving can be incredibly challenging. Join esteemed expert and researcher in the field of bereaved parenting, Dr. Irwin Sandler, to learn more about the Resilient Parenting for Bereaved Families program. In partnership with the New York Life Foundation, Arizona State University’s REACH Institute has developed this online program designed to provide parents and other caregivers practical tools to care for themselves and their bereaved children. The program is currently being offered free to parents and caregivers of parentally-bereaved children ages 6 to 17 as part of a program evaluation. Dr. Sandler will offer information about the research and development of the program and discuss ways that it can be an additional resource for the grieving parents you serve.  Continuing education is not available for this free program. Learn More & Register

From Stuart M. Doering, Graduate Student at Viterbo University's Master of Science in Mental Health Counseling Program: This survey is focused on the relationship between resilience and grief among men who have lost a loved one within the last 30 years, are at least 18 years old, and use he/him/his pronouns. The survey will take about 15-25 minutes and will involve answering questions about your personal experiences with grief and current functioning. Participation is entirely voluntary. You can stop taking the survey at any point. After taking the survey you can click a link to a separate survey to enter your email for the chance to win a $20 Amazon gift card. Here is a link to the survey: https://qfreeaccountssjc1.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6V9I5vUhQ0z6eLI This research study has received approval from the Institutional Review Board at Viterbo University. Previous research has focused on the relationship among resilience and grief among women. By focusing on men, I hope this will lead to a better understanding of the grief process among men and create higher standards of care in human services fields for those experiencing grief. If you have any questions, feel free to email me at sdoeri76849@viterbo.edu.

Managing Loss and Grief During the Holidays ONLINE - November 1, 2023 7:00 pm Eastern/ 5 pm Pacific If you are mourning the death of a loved one or a loss of any kind (including divorce, job loss, pet loss or any major life transition), your grief can be more difficult and your sadness more pronounced during the Winter holidays. We all respond to that sadness in different ways, and methods of coping can span a vast spectrum. Some choose to skip the holidays altogether, abandoning traditional family customs that are painful reminders of holidays past. Others continue – and enhance – those traditions by including departed loved ones in new rituals specifically designed to bring their presence into the festivities. REGISTER HERE

Blessings of comfort, peace and healing to you as well, my friend ❤️

First of all, my dear, please know that I am so very sorry to learn of the sudden, totally unexpected death of your father ~ especially when you yourself are so young. Next, I want to assure you that your reactions are normal and understandable under the circumstances. In a single instant, everything you knew and thought you understood about life got turned upside down, and the world as you've known it got totally changed forever. That is enough to put anyone over the edge, especially if this is your first experience with a significant loss. It's only natural to think, if this could happen to your father, then certainly it could happen to you ~ or to anyone else you love, for that matter ~ suddenly, out of the blue, without any warning at all. This is why it can be so helpful to find someone you know and trust, someone you can talk to, someone who can help you look at all of this and evaluate it more objectively. That can be a friend, a trusted relative, or even a therapist / counselor who specializes in bereavement. If you find that sharing your story here with us is enough, that is wonderful too, and we will do all we can to support you and help you come to a better understanding of your grief and what you might do to better manage your own reactions. You might begin by reading a bit about what is normal (and therefore to be expected) in grief. Click on these titles to read on ~ and note that additional readings are listed at the base of each article: Grief: Understanding The Process Traumatic Loss: Surviving A Parent's Sudden, Accidental Death Parent Loss: Continuing Their Song

Dear, dear Karen: Sometimes, you just gotta laugh . . . ❤️

Good for you!

How are you doing, my friend? We haven't heard from you in a while. Here is another online webinar that made me think of you: Navigating the Holidays as a Grieving Father October 25, 2023 @ 8:30-9:15pm EST REGISTER When: October 25, 2023 @ 8:30-9:15pm EST Where: Zoom Cost: Free For more information contact Executive Director, Fred Spero, at info@nationalwidowers.org. Upon registration, you will be sent a confirmation email. Please use this email to access the online workshop. A reminder email will also be sent the day of the event. Disclaimer: The information shared in this program is not intended to act as a substitute for any legal and mental health advice concerning individual situations; neither the National Widowers’ Organization, its Board of Directors, staff and personnel shall be responsible for any outcomes arising from any information or exercises provided in this program. NWO is a nonprofit grief and resource organization dedicated to helping men whose spouse/partner has died, and all men who have experienced the death of someone significant in their lives through the Men’s Grief Network℠. REGISTER

You have a lot of self-awareness, MaryMae, and I think you would do well to find a therapist who can help you better understand and work through these various issues. Think of it as a gift you can give yourself! Good therapy can be life-changing ~ for the better! You are worth it, and you deserve it! I wish you nothing but the very best! ❤️

I hope you will bear in mind that feelings are not facts. Feeling stupid, used and humiliated does not mean that you are, in fact, all those awful things. Feelings are neither right or wrong, good or bad. They just are. We can't always control what we are feeling ~ but we most certainly can control what we DO with what we are feeling. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling ~ but also let the feelings see the light of day; share them with trusted others (as you will find right here) so you can examine them more objectively ~ then without judgment, allow yourself to let them go. What really matters is how you behave and how you act in the face of your feelings. You've used your own common sense in this most difficult situation. Tune into the more positive feelings that you certainly deserve ~ feelings like pride, self-esteem, self-worth, self-preservation, positive regard for yourself, and confidence in knowing what you deserve, what is true and what is best for YOU. ❤️

Dear Ones, I'm so sorry to learn of the tragic loss of your beloved Tucker. The photo you've included is adorable, and I can only imagine how your hearts are breaking with the pain of losing your boy ~ especially in such an unexpected and traumatic way. I hope you will give yourselves permission to mourn this loss, and to take whatever time you need to do so. Clearly Tucker was a treasured member of your family, and understanding the significance of this loss ~ how much he meant to both of you ~ is important as you come to terms with your grief. I hope you'll find these readings to be helpful ~ and know that we are thinking of you as we hold you in our hearts: Pet Loss: When Guilt Overshadows Grief Loss and The Burden of Guilt Pet Loss: Why Does It Hurt So Much? Pet Loss: Is It A Different Kind of Grief? ❤️

I'm so sorry, MaryMae. Still, I hope this disappointing news will convince you that, in the end, you are better without this man. (I wonder how long it will be before his mother finds a way to get rid of this new person in her son's life.) Thinking of you ❤️

I agree, MaryMae. The real problem here is the unhealthy attachment between this man and his mother. He is putting his mother's needs ahead of his own ~ and most certainly ahead of yours. Nothing you can say or do will change that. This is something that only he can change, and only if he wants to do so. Be grateful that you have enough sense to recognize the giant red flag that is warning you to walk away from this. Listen to your own good instincts, and give yourself permission to mourn what YOU have lost.

So sorry to learn of your accident, Kay! How did you manage to cut yourself so badly? Sending healing thoughts to you, for sure! ❤️

Good for you, MaryMae! Good for you! ❤️

Hoping you'll find some of these resources helpful: Mourning The Death of A Love Relationship: Suggested Resources ❤️

Update: All is well. Power is on. I am fine and I am grateful. ❤️

This storm is due to hit Sarasota this evening into tomorrow morning. My home is not in a flood zone, so the predicted "storm surge" probably won't affect me ~ just heavy rain and high wind. We are preparing for loss of power ~ that's usually what happens to us during these kinds of storms. So if you don't hear from me tomorrow or the next day, know that my electricity is down and I'll be back here ASAP. Meanwhile, please continue to take good care of one another ❤️

You might find this article helpful: Your Partner Is Not Your Therapist