scba Posted January 5, 2017 Report Share Posted January 5, 2017 My thoughts are with you and your family 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted January 5, 2017 Report Share Posted January 5, 2017 Continued prayers for your family! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rdownes Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 Butvh am so sorry for the setback my thoughts and prayers will be continuing for your family you have all been through so much. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finch Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 Butch, Noah is in my thoughts. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 Noah suffered an aneurysm that set him back a couple days ago. Please keep praying for him! In addition, Butch is coming up on the anv. of Mary's death on the 9th and is having a hard time with that. He doesn't get alone time for his grief so it's hard. Today he's going to sit with Noah while Katie and Allen visit with Caleb and Gracie. AND they're expecting 8" snow. I'm praying for safety as well. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 19 minutes ago, kayc said: Please keep praying for him! That we will, Kay. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 We keep praying 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted January 7, 2017 Report Share Posted January 7, 2017 Butch, you and your family are always in my thoughts and prayers. You are the strongest person I know, my friend. Mary would be so proud of you. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 Dear Butch, Tomorrow is the two-year mark without your Mary. I know your heart is hurting and I know that you have been deeply concerned with what has been going on with your family. You have been asked to carry many burdens that most of us may never understand. I want you to know that as a member of this forum for over five years you will not carry this sadness alone. We are here for you. Not to take this sadness from you but to let you know that you, my friend, are not alone. There are many who have been on this journey for a long time and others whose deep pain is too awful to even express right now. I go back with you from the time our Shannon died and I’m with you as your grandchild, Noah, is recovering from his traumatic brain injury from his bicycle accident. I know your Mary is with you. I know she helps you as you care for Caleb and Gracie as your son and daughter-in-law spend time with Noah. I am so happy that Noah will be coming home with around-the-clock nursing staff. I believe that your Mary has a very special part in this ~ healing takes all forms. Please take some time to yourself to remember your beloved Mary. Those of us here know all too well what it means to have our spouses somewhere where we are not ~ yet. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 Butch, I know this is a hard time for you, as you face the anniversary of Mary's death today, and even as you anticipate Noah's coming home Thursday. Life never stays the same, and that's very unsettling for us, especially when we're in a happy spot. Some of those changes are good, some are not, and we take life as it comes, one day at a time. We're here for you, dear friend, you're in our hearts and prayers daily, but especially today. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 Today is two years for Butch's loss of his beloved wife, Mary. He's taking care of Gracie and she's teething, need I say more? Holding a cranky baby and needing time for his grief don't mix too well. Noah comes home Thursday. It's going to be a huge adjustment. Their lives changed the day of his accident, it's going to change again as it will revolve around his care, nurses and physical therapists and speech therapists in and out. Privacy gone. Constant demands on their time and attention and no relief. I know, I lived this life when I was a teenager and my sister sustained severe brain damage from an accident. Our lives became before and after that point. We need to pray for strength for the family, time for Butch to be able to grieve and process Mary's death, and for crying out loud, for Gracie's teeth to come in! Thank you all for your prayers for this family. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 You've said it all, dear Kay, and you speak for all of us. Blessings to you, and thank you for being such a devoted friend to Butch and his family. You're an angel. ♥ 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 Enna you have very eloquently written the feelngs many of us here have in our hearts for Butch. Thank you. Take care Butch. We all have our thoughts and feelings for you and your family, but especially for you dear man, today. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 Loving thoughts to you and your family, Butch 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 Thinking of you today Butch. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 My sentiments the same as the others. I do not like special dates. "To me" they are only special if I can share them. I share my grief with everyone on here. You have had some smashing hits to your psyche these past two years. From what I have read, you have been too busy to worry about yourself. If you are like me, you pray that you will stay strong and capable as long as you are needed, and it seems you are very much needed. That says a lot about us Butch. It puts fear in my gut sometimes that I cannot carry on, but that is something I will just have to try to do, and so will you, and so will we all. While they are asleep or resting, go to your private place. My heart is with you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted January 9, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 Thank you all so much. Tonight at 11 is two yrs since we took my bride off life support and at 11:15 she flew to heaven. I'm busy with Gracie and she's a handful of teething but still no teeth. My heart is heavy. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted January 9, 2017 Report Share Posted January 9, 2017 Butch , my thoughts and prayers.......You are carrying a heavy heavy load...Take care of yourself... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted January 10, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 10, 2017 Last night was grueling And painful. I lit a candle and 11:00 came the time we pulled Mary off the ventilator and I remembered my hand was on her heart my head touching hers looking in her eyes telling her it was ok her fight was over she was done she did so well just perfectly. I promised I would be the strong one now and take care of the our son and dil and grandsons. My heart broke yet again last night at 11;15 that was the time her heart stopped beating against my hand and she was gone. ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 10, 2017 Report Share Posted January 10, 2017 43 minutes ago, R.Everit55 said: Last night was grueling And painful. I lit a candle and 11:00 came the time we pulled Mary off the ventilator and I remembered my hand was on her heart my head touching hers looking in her eyes telling her it was ok her fight was over she was done she did so well just perfectly. I promised I would be the strong one now and take care of the our son and dil and grandsons. My heart broke yet again last night at 11;15 that was the time her heart stopped beating against my hand and she was gone. ? Man alive, does my heart and sympathy go out to you. I know how hard it was for you to think the thoughts and say the words to make "it" official. Even tho it was done for all the right reasons, saying those end of life words to the nurse & doctor and signing the various legal papers was the hardest decision i have ever had to make. Once it's done, there's no chance to change your mind. They put a little bag of morphine on her IV stand in case she should start to struggle after the ventilator was turned off, but my wife never needed it. She just drifted off into her final sleep, effortlessly and painlessly. No struggling and gasping for air. She just drifted away. She was ready. I will always be grateful that it was easy for her like that. My sympathies to you for re-living it the way you did. I did the same thing on new year's day. One foot in front of the other... Darrel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 10, 2017 Report Share Posted January 10, 2017 It's the most selfless act one can do, to let the one they love go, and thus end their suffering...also the hardest thing one can do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted January 10, 2017 Report Share Posted January 10, 2017 Yes. Truly a selfless and loving act, that marks the end of their suffering and the beginning of our own. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 10, 2017 Report Share Posted January 10, 2017 13 minutes ago, kayc said: It's the most selfless act one can do, to let the one they love go, and thus end their suffering...also the hardest thing one can do. I reckon if you love someone as much as we all loved--and still love--our mates, it can't be easy. And shouldn't be. I didn't sleep a single minute the nite before. Just paced and thought, paced and thought, ad infinitum. All nite long. Was i going to be doing the right thing FOR HER? And for the right reasons? And ultimately there was really only one RIGHT decision. I miss the hell out of my wife. Always will. But i don't miss seeing her being so unhappy and miserable every day. I'm supposed to be able to fix things when they're broken. But I couldn't fix her. Even the doctors couldn't. The diabetes had just ravaged her body. Rest in peace, my beautiful wife. One foot in front of the other... Darrel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 10, 2017 Report Share Posted January 10, 2017 I'm sorry, Darrel. If my husband had lived he would have been disabled and I know he wouldn't have liked that. Yet I also realize that he would have found some good in life and we'd still be together. That's not so when one is suffering so badly. I know Butch's Mary went through a lot, and it sounds like your wife did too. We have to love them from afar now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 10, 2017 Report Share Posted January 10, 2017 You're so kind, KayC. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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