scba Posted January 10, 2017 Report Share Posted January 10, 2017 My thoughts are with you and your family 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted January 14, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 14, 2017 Thank you all again for all your support and prayers i made it through the two year anniversary of Mary's death. But I'm not sleeping. The pain is horrible. Kay asked if I had anti anxiety or sleeping pills. I do but I don't dare take them while Gracie is here in my care. She's up several times in the night from continuing teething but no teeth yet. Noah is home with Allen and Katie and they have a round the clock nurse. He's continuing to have seizures but is on medication. They are coming a little less frequently. He's doing great with speech therapy and starts more physical and occupational therapy next week. He's more asleep then not. I guess that's healing. Heres Gracie in a kitchen sink bath she loves Still no teeth but her hair is growing fast now She's my favorite girl Butch 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted January 14, 2017 Report Share Posted January 14, 2017 Oh Butch, she is adorable. She just made me smile. Smiles on our forum are very few and when you post Gracie's picture I do smile from the heart. Thank you for sharing her with us and you are all in our thoughts and prayers. I hope you and Gracie get a good nights sleep soon. Maybe you will have to try to sleep during her daytime nap too. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted January 14, 2017 Report Share Posted January 14, 2017 Butch, She sure brightens our day, as I am sure she does yours 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted January 14, 2017 Report Share Posted January 14, 2017 Too precious for words, she is ♥ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 14, 2017 Report Share Posted January 14, 2017 20 hours ago, R.Everit55 said: She's my favorite girl And I can see why! Her smile is contagious! And I remember all of us praying her through her struggles. I know this sounds girly, Butch, but maybe worth a try...a lot of people are trying that aromatherapy, maybe buying some lavender essential oils would be worthwhile. If I was desperate enough for some sleep, I'd try it even though I don't like the smell of lavender! (it's supposed to help with anxiety) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted January 18, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 18, 2017 I've been alone for a couple days. The grands are back with Allen and Katie. I feel so alone. Or lonely. I don't know the difference. I keep talking to my Mary. As though she can hear me. I don't know if I can do this anymore. I don't want to. I want to be with her. I take care of our family. I love it. But I don't want to do it without her. I'd rather be with her. I keep praying for time. Time that was stolen from her and us. I know I will never get any more time. It's over. Our dance is over. But I keep praying anyways. I've got to be crazy. I listen for her. I feel like I'm deaf because I never get any answer from her. I'm sleeping about five hours a night. But that is not peace. It's full of my bride in my dreams. So there is no where I can find peace. It's been 24 months 9 days. I can't take anymore time without her. I know I have no choice. I always wondered what hell is like. This is it. This. ? 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 18, 2017 Report Share Posted January 18, 2017 Oh Butch, I understand that desperation, there has been many times I could have written this. Times without sleep, times I felt so alone, times I felt overwhelmed and I just wanted my George back here with me. This wasn't the plan, we were supposed to be in this together. But surely I can hang on a little longer, a few more years, a lot more years, give it time to get better, even if it's only better for a moment or a day, at least it's something, right? Keep talking to your Mary, you aren't losing it, I do that all the time...or if you are losing it you have plenty of company, starting with me! Think about Mary being there beside you as you take care of Gracie or Caleb or go visit Noah. Because she is, you know, she just doesn't have her physical body to be able to hug you or speak audibly to you, but she still exists, she's not just "gone". Hang in there, my friend. We all know all too well what it's like... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted January 18, 2017 Report Share Posted January 18, 2017 Butch, I wish you weren't suffering so much. My heart is breaking for you. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted January 19, 2017 Report Share Posted January 19, 2017 7 hours ago, R.Everit55 said: I keep talking to my Mary. As though she can hear me. I talk to Billy as if he could hear me, I'm not sure he does not. Butch, I wrote a whole lot more but I have this habit of "run on fingers." It is kinda like running a race and just running in place. I say the same thing. You are needed by your family. Right now you are tired. I know that feeling. I am tired also. You are just like me "you have promises to keep and miles to go before you sleep. RF" So don't give up yet. Gracie needs you, those boys need you. Katie and Allen need you. Rest up while you can. The world is not through with us yet. And when you least expect it, possibly like for George and his yen for flying, Sometimes when we least expect it, that word "enthusiasm" might appear. It's possible. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 26, 2017 Report Share Posted January 26, 2017 I'm sorry I haven't updated but I've been waiting for more news and it's not good. A week ago Noah had another seizure, a very significant one and his heart and breathing stopped. He was rushed back to the hospital. This time they say they don't expect him to improve. Butch still has Gracie a lot of the time. I don't know what to say, this is very hard for them to go through, I remember how it was when my sister had her accident and sustained major brain damage, it left her unable to walk, it's extremely difficult for her to talk and thus communicate, she's quadriplegic. It killed her three year old. Everything was "before" or "after" the accident from that day forward. It changed all our lives. My heartfelt prayers go out to Butch and his family. I know at the time of our Donna's accident, her son Micky was our only joy, he was four months old, just as Gracie and Caleb surely are theirs. Just please pray for Noah, we need a miracle. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Finch Posted January 26, 2017 Report Share Posted January 26, 2017 I'm so sorry to hear this. I hope desperately that there is a turn around for Noah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted January 26, 2017 Report Share Posted January 26, 2017 Prayers continuing for the whole family. Hoping for a miracle for Noah. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted January 26, 2017 Report Share Posted January 26, 2017 Oh Kay. Your message moves me to tears. I am so sorry to learn this awful news. I have no words ~ but I am praying . . . ♥ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted January 26, 2017 Report Share Posted January 26, 2017 I don't know what to say. This little family has had too much. And those of us who can, please pray. My heart is with them all. Just too much. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted January 26, 2017 Report Share Posted January 26, 2017 This is just too sad. Prayers being sent.... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AB3 Posted January 26, 2017 Report Share Posted January 26, 2017 Praying for you all 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted January 27, 2017 Report Share Posted January 27, 2017 I have no words. Praying 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted January 28, 2017 Report Share Posted January 28, 2017 Dear God please give Noah a miracle. Praying for you and your family Butch. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 28, 2017 Report Share Posted January 28, 2017 Update from Butch: Please extend my thanks and love to all there for their prayers. I've got Gracie today. She is still toothless with much pain. She's running everywhere though. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted January 28, 2017 Report Share Posted January 28, 2017 I'm glad he has Gracie to keep his mind off things as much as she can, as much as he can. Prayers for Noah. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 Thanks KayC. ? Praying for you all Butch. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 On 1/14/2017 at 5:36 PM, kayc said: And I can see why! Her smile is contagious! And I remember all of us praying her through her struggles. I know this sounds girly, Butch, but maybe worth a try...a lot of people are trying that aromatherapy, maybe buying some lavender essential oils would be worthwhile. If I was desperate enough for some sleep, I'd try it even though I don't like the smell of lavender! (it's supposed to help with anxiety) I use lavender oil (one drop under my nose) when I go to sleep. It does help. - Shalom, George 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted January 29, 2017 Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 I can't stand the smell of lavender or I'd use it, I've heard it is calming. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted January 29, 2017 Author Report Share Posted January 29, 2017 Thank you everyone for your thoughts and prayers for Noah and our family. Here are some pics of Gracie. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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