My Sanity Needed Vents

[KarenK]

I found this a little disconcerting. I've been with my doctor about 9 yrs, the whole time taking Atenolol and Lisinopril/HCTZ. I cough a lot and always chalked it up to being a smoker. Doctor told me yesterday that Lisinopril causes a cough, thus he's changing it to Valsartan. I'm wondering why he never bothered to change it before as he knew about the cough. Without this current problem I'm having, I would never have known. Will see if the Valsartan makes a difference in the cough.

[nashreed]

25 minutes ago, KarenK said:

I found this a little disconcerting. I've been with my doctor about 9 yrs, the whole time taking Atenolol and Lisinopril/HCTZ. I cough a lot and always chalked it up to being a smoker. Doctor told me yesterday that Lisinopril causes a cough, thus he's changing it to Valsartan. I'm wondering why he never bothered to change it before as he knew about the cough. Without this current problem I'm having, I would never have known. Will see if the Valsartan makes a difference in the cough.

That's interesting. I've been taking Lisinopril for at least a couple of years and don't usually ever cough, except yesterday I had this cough that I couldn't get rid of. Something I ate triggered it and I just could not get it cleared. I still feel a "tickle" in my throat today.

[KarenK]

Glad you haven't had any problems, James. I really think the cough is from smoking and sinus problems, but I'll try the new med.

[kayc]

The HCTZ raises my BS, I'm on one, want to see if there's something else I can take that will lower my BP w/o hurting my BS, a tall order, I'm sure!

[Gwenivere]

Going into another weekend after a week of always new fires to deal with.  Now things will be so quiet.  I was coming home and more aware of the changes in our stomping grounds when Steve was here.  How lonely our once flourishing neighborhood has become.  We always went to the local bar just before closing and spent time with lots of regulars.  I see how  I appear to be antisocial, but that is not how I feel.  Everything that he, we or I did just doesn’t exist anymore.  My big ‘social' interactions today was my housekeeper and a quick trip in Safeway.  I watched Mel go nuts for the company.  She still misses interaction she had with Ally, as do I.  
 

the homeless camp that took over a park near me was cleared out this week.   It’s horrible how trashed the place is after removing everything.  Grass is gone, trees mutilated for firewood.  The church across the street is where I go on Sundays for a meal.  I hope they still get enough people to keep it going. There is another encampment a few blocks away.  I’ve gotten to know people there so it’s also a social thing I count on during the long weekends.  
 

I finally got landscapers scheduled for next week.  It will be good to have things cleaned up after winter, but I know I’ll be flooded with memories of long ago summers when I had a full family and the yard was a big part of.  No more putting out deck chairs or baby pools for the dogs.  My world seems to be trapped in this empty house.  It’s such a nice one that I shared with the greatest person I’ve ever knew and furry kids that kept things hopping with the antics.  I watch Mel out there now and miss when she and Ally kept me hopping with their digging and their chases.  All the stepping stones I bought to cover digging areas years ago are covered in moss.  
 

I hear the birds as I have for decades as they prepare for nesting.  See the plant life going on.  Yet, I feel like an outsider now.  I sit on the bench on the patio and watch the ghosts of activity.  Now that the temps are getting warmer it’s going to be harder.  At least the dismal winters were an excuse to hunker inside.  It almost hurts  to see a gorgeous day now.  Too much pain to do anything, no one to do it with and the sounds of neighbors where life is still going on just make me sad.  I used to love the sun as it is the time we wait 9 months for here.  My biggest need us to get the portable AC set up by June will need a buddy to do that now.  Can’t do it myself.  
 

so much life sounds out there except at our place.  No more people jamming on the deck to listen to.  Death steals so much more than our partners.  How odd it is to see life budding but live in a heart that is a perpetual winter.  
 

Hope things are better for others here.  It’s been very quiet.  

[KarenK]

I guess May will be my month for problems. Saw doc again today for BP which is still too high. He doubled the dosage on one of the new meds and added a fourth quick acting one to be used only if all the others fail. I've quit driving until the eye problems are solved. Can't look to the left without seeing double or triple. Have an appt. with opthamologist next Thurs. And another appt. with regular doc on Wed.  Plumber coming out on Tues. to clean out washer drain(a once a year thing now, it seems). Knock on wood, I should hear from protection team at Sears regarding a new dishwasher as parts for mine still not available. Last but not least, I have a damn toothache.

Like you Gwen, I never say "What's next?".  Hope you are able to still get meals at the church and socialize a bit. There are lots of changes around here also. All kinds of new apartments or condos being built. Read somewhere that there is a shortage of homes in Phoenix metro area. I get 3 or 4 calls a day and constant mail from house flippers or realtors wanting to buy this old beat up house. Would love to sell and move to the mountains, but not a good time and probably not affordable for what we need.

[kayc]

Battling my blood sugar and blood pressure.  BS up at 137 this morning, BP finally near normal this morning (134/71).  I can't figure it out, doing the same as always, still eating healthy, intermittent fasting, walking, trying to relax & not stress.  Kodie yanked hard yesterday, pulling a tendon in my leg, will take a while to heal, still ambulatory but not w/o hurting.  I've already learned from the past that they (doctors) don't do anything so no sense mentioning it.

Gwen, I have the same hollow echos in my life here...used to be bustling with kids/family, have barbecues on the deck, camping/hiking/boating/fishing, company over, now quiet, alone.  Wouldn't be so bad with my partner here but alone?  It does get old, doesn't it.  I hear you on missing Ally, I feel the same about Arlie.  Thankful to have Kodie in my life!  

Heading into summer, it'll fly by just as the winter drags.  

Karen, I'm sorry you have another toothache!  Gosh you've struggled with that!  Did your dentist ever put you on Prevident?  If not, you might want to suggest it as it helps prevent a LOT of dental problems, costs maybe $12-$15, not sure, it's toothpaste you spit but don't rinse, use pea size amount so one bottle lasts a long time, months!  I've been on it for years, it really helps fight cavities!  Mouthwashes are often full of sugar and not helpful so I don't use them.  They are there to make you feel fresh and smell good but don't usually fight cavities regardless of what they say.  Prevident is available by Rx, usually dentists carry it.  I buy one when I go in for my cleanings.  Will a crushed aspirin at the location help the pain?

[KarenK]

Thanks for the suggestion, Kay. Don't know why I even wrote out all my troubles above. It's all just part of life stuff. At least I have someone here to help with things, pick up food and meds, and drive me places. I know so many of you don't have that. I would be lost without my son and grandson.

[Kieron]

Kay, no doubt you have tried it all in your battle with hypertension.  But just in case, a physician mentioned to me that dried  red hibiscus flowers, made into tea, lower blood pressure and studies have borne this out.  For whatever this info is worth to you.  🌺  And I was curious if George/I Praise Him has researched it, too.  Looks like it could mess with blood sugar levels if consumed too much.  So I guess it's a mixed bag, like so much in life.

[Gwenivere]

6 hours ago, kayc said:

Gwen, I have the same hollow echos in my life here...used to be bustling with kids/family, have barbecues on the deck, camping/hiking/boating/fishing, company over, now quiet, alone.  Wouldn't be so bad with my partner here but alone?  It does get old, doesn't it.  I hear you on missing Ally, I feel the same about Arlie.  Thankful to have Kodie in my life!  

It’s gotten very old.  I never thought I would dislike spending time in the yard we meticulously designed to accommodate the dogs yet stop all the debris from trees, worn out lawn and pooling from rains making it so ugly and mess up the house.  The nights we spent figuring it out and changes along the way as it was built.  One of our collaborated masterpieces.  Now, just a bunch of wood doing the same but with no magic.  I was watching a video my grief counselor sent me about grief during covid, but it made some good points that we are grieving almost all the time from other losses when we’ve been hit with big ones.  Seems we would know that butt it explained why I am so teetering emotionally that I can barely control.  Exaggerated reactions that even surprise me.  Usually impatience and anger now.  The worst is sometimes losing empathy because I’m so worn out trying to maintain myself.  Then I get disappointed in myself.  I was never like that, ever.  I try not to add blame on myself.  That won’t help at all.  I notice I space out asking about others battles and have to backtrack.   It was 2nd nature before because I truly care.  
 

Melody is my one good thing that is consistent.  Even when she annoys me.  I’m hyper focused that she is my only kid.  I’m so used to 2 and I have seen many times that having another eases the fear of something taking her from me and be utterly alone.   Also good for them to have a companion.  I just have to look to myself to see that.  
 

2 hours ago, KarenK said:

Don't know why I even wrote out all my troubles above. It's all just part of life stuff. At least I have someone here to help with things, pick up food and meds, and drive me places. I know so many of you don't have that. I would be lost without my son and grandson.

I’m so glad you have them, Karen.  I can attest to being lost in this 'on my own' tat wasn’t a problem as a much younger person.  Sure makes a difference now.  Yeah, it’s part of life, but definitely not something I ever planned for or imagined.  Steve got finances in place, but they don’t really solve the human part of the equation.  
 

I wish none of us were struggling with physical maladies on top of the emotional ones.  This sounds odd, but I’m glad when people share because then I don’t feel so alone.  That’s what this place is all about, right?  It helps to know you’re not the only one struggling and sometimes can try and ‘comfort' someone outside yourself as it’s so easy to turn inward as I wrote above.  Lose touch with that empathy.  Even if advice is not solicited, seeing someone shared means they want to be heard and that we can do always.  I know that is why I write my long novels.  Just knowing you are all out there helps so much more that keeping it to myself or journaling which I wouldn’t bother doing.  The point IS to be heard.  Otherwise it’s so isolating.  
 

You didn’t ask for any and I don’t have much to offer about tooth problems, but I can truly relate as mine are cracking and breaking off.  It’s a horrible feeling.  The eye and BP are biggies too.  I am very careful driving as my vision is affected by other things.  
 

15 hours ago, KarenK said:

Like you Gwen, I never say "What's next?". 

Oh gawd, no!  I never ever ask that.   If there is one thing I’ve learned is never saying it can’t get worse. 

I hope your new meds work and you can get the tooth pain stopped.  Lighten your load just a bit.  I’m getting hit up to sell my house too.  I know they would probably split the plot to make 2 townhouses.  Sad. They don’t care about what I do, the house, just the land.   I could live in a smaller space, but I listened to all the emotional decisions Dee had to make moving to her sons place he built.  Hoping she is doing OK.  I know I can’t stay here forever.  Just don’t want to look at that yet, needing help and (to me) leaving active society.  
 

 

[KarenK]

Thanks for that, Gwen. I think sometimes I write things just to be heard, as you say. Although the guys are here, we don't really talk much. Aging never bothered me much until various parts started failing. I really feel like I'm wearing out and that scares me, probably something that only us older folk can understand. I'm not ready to give up the ghost yet.

[kayc]

20 hours ago, KarenK said:

Don't know why I even wrote out all my troubles above. It's all just part of life stuff.

That's what I figure this and the hell threads were for!  All of the stuff we'd pour out to our spouse but no longer can, yes, indirectly related to our grief as it changes our lives completely, all the more so since Covid has hit, isolating us even further.  We're like a mini support group for each other!  Women process things in our brain through talking, it helps to have somewhere we can do that, men need to be able to do that too!  What concerns you, concerns us, we're walked this road a long time together!

20 hours ago, Kieron said:

red hibiscus flowers, made into tea

I've talked with George about it, he gave me some pointers.  My BP was 180s over 80s, too high for my liking!  The study I was interested in participating in sent me 29 pages of stuff to read, it sounds too scary/iffy for my liking, I do not want to risk my life and it takes 40 months, I don't HAVE 40 months to wait!  So have been working on relaxing, prayer/meditation, letting go, and my BP this morning was 134/73!  If I can sustain it, I'd be delighted!  I think all of life stressors combined with Covid, my current medical issue, news, politics, my sister's dementia, have been what has upped my BP, now I just need to work on letting it go...Gwen is right, I can't let my sister lay everything on me, this has to be a family issue, not all on me.

Karen, I have teeth that die really quick, have gone to the dentist every six months for check ups all my adult life, have still lost half my teeth and had more root canals than anyone I know, all remaining teeth are crowned except too including a bridge that encompasses a couple of them.  I know the pain well.  When I get a throbbing, I call my dentist asap!  That's how fast they go.  My long term dentist (since retired) gave me his home number to call any time!  They've been wonderful over the years.  They've found no cavities the last couple of years, thankfully, I can't afford to lose any more!  And man does dental work cost!!  This is a real concern and I hope your tooth settles down.

 

[Gwenivere]

5 hours ago, kayc said:

Women process things in our brain through talking, it helps to have somewhere we can do that, men need to be able to do that too!  What concerns you, concerns us, we're walked this road a long time together!

I’ve loved that all my life women want/need to talk.  I’ve met a few that are like fortresses about sharing, but it’s not the norm.   I know I had to get Steve to do that and once he’d got comfortable with it, he saw the benefits of it.  He also made sure he told his buddies everything he wanted them to know.  That helped him before passing.  Many of the men I’ve gotten to know will talk, but it takes more time for them to break what they were taught about being ‘strong'.  I think the next generations are more freeing for them.  I know there were times Steve hid crying from me, it was habit.  Or I knew he needed to, but the best I could do was hold him and know that inside he was.  It took so much trust when he broke down with me.  He never went that far with his buddies that I know of.  I’m guessing more for their comfort levels.  I’m not even sure his impending death was discussed beyond asking which guitar or bass they favored to be put in the will.  The one buddy that comes up to visit monthly has cried about him around me.  He was the one here when I lost Ally so our bond is very deep even tho we don’t see each other much.  I know I could call him anytime if needed.  The other closest friend I feel boundaries with.  He loves us both, but wants me to be happy and over this.  It will always be a wall between us.  If he lost his wife, I have no idea how he would handle it.  He’s been an inner loner as long as I’ve known him.  Tho he adores her.  

I’m drawn like a moth to a flame by sharing.  Even if it’s just about rather cost of apples.  All this silence I live in now is so hard.  Talking to myself is even slowing down.  Losing Ally has curtailed my talking to Mel as much.  We’re both just lost in this repetitive routine now.  Found out yesterday the community center is stopping meals on Saturdays.  That was a time I got much needed contact.  Even an hour makes a difference when it would be a day there was no one you knew you interacted with.  
 

today was an experiment in sleeping differently.  Didn’t work out well.  It’s going to be a long day.  Lost some sleep from it and more pain.  Or repercussions of yesterday.  I give up trying to figure it out.  It’s enough trying to figure out how to make it thru another day.  I have a zoom meeting, picking up dinner at the church, then shower.  Sitting here now it looks very trying.  Will I get it al done and at what price?  Or will this be the day my body just quits?  Miserable way to exist.  I think about Steve being here and not sure I’d want him to see me like this.  Tho having help if needed would be awesome.  

 

[KarenK]

Knock on wood, I seem to to be finally holding my own with the BP. Last reading was 157/83. Still can't kick the headache or the side double vision. The headache is like a pressure across my eyes. This poor vision is really scary. I hope the ophthalmologist can figure it out, since reading and television are my mainstay.

Gwen, sorry to hear about your Saturday meals. I'm glad you'll still be able to go on Sunday. Anywhere else nearby you might try for other days?

[Gwenivere]

I don’t know of any unless another CC close by does it. Problem is they have a long walk in.  This was like a drive up, very convenient.  I’ll more miss the contact.  It was sad seeing all the homeless and the mental and drug problems.  That hour with my new acquaintances.  
 

I would be really freaked about the eyesight thing.  It’s my mainstay too.  Not just for TV, reading and computer, but I want that freedom to drive.  I do hope the ophthalmologist can get this solved for you.  How long do you have to wait?  Did this start with the med change?  

[Margm]

On 5/5/2021 at 2:48 PM, nashreed said:

I'm wondering why he never bothered to change it before as he knew about the cough.

Million dollar question.  When Scott started coughing, I told him it was the Lisinopril.  Doc changed it.  It did me the same way, but that is one of the main causes people get off it.  I had the "privilege" of typing all these side effects to medications and that is probably the most common one for lisinopril.  But then again, the symptoms do not happen to everyone.  Really, when I saw one side effect of penicillin was a "black hairy tongue" it didn't bother me, I could not take it anyhow.  After 43 years of typing symptoms/side effects, one New Mexico hospital had a side effect to an antibiotic of a "black hairy tongue."  That one I will never look for a picture to verify.  

[KarenK]

This started about 10 days ago while I was watching TV. Didn't associate with BP until I went to Wal-Mart to pick up med. the next day. It was scary driving. Took my BP when I got home and it was over 200. After med changes and additions and lower BP, no more straight ahead double vision, but still there looking to the left. I've needed distance glasses for years, but could see well enough to drive, just can't read small signs. Never had double vision before. My appt. is Thurs.

Marg, the Valsartan that the doc switched me to also has cough as a side effect. Duh!!  I'm pretty sure mine is caused by smoking, sinus, and Aspergillus, but I'll play his silly game.

[kayc]

I've been getting mild headaches lately, never was one to get them before, not sure of cause.  My BP has been 134/73 and 137/74 the last few days so trying to let go of worry/stress and relax is helping!

I went through double vision years ago, went through eye therapy and it helped.  They told me it was because I didn't crawl as a baby (my mom kept me in a playpen as they were building a house) so I had to go through exercises.  Picking up cheerios with pickup sticks..  Tie a cord to a doorknob and hold it and focus your eyes up the cord to the doorknob, and back towards you, repeatedly.  Hang a ball from the ceiling while being on a balance board (Ron could make one out of a square of wood with a small square in the center, put the small one on the floor). You stand on the balance board while watching the ball swing around you with your peripheral vision (this was the hardest exercise!).  Also, put a 2 x 4 on the floor and walk forward to the end and back on it repeatedly, this was also challenging for me.  All of these simple exercises cost me $900 back in 1992 but worked.  Another one was to look in the mirror in the morning and try to bring your lazy eye in so your pupils are direct in the mirror without one of them going "off."  You can also put your forefinger out and slowly bring it to the tip of your nose while focusing on it,   I've often used that one to bring my eye back in, most of us have a dominant eye and the lazy one can check out, we have to make it work with the other.  They can also put prisms in your lenses to help.

I hope you get an appt. with the eyedoctor soon!  Still waiting for mine, they're behind "due to Covid."

[Margm]

I'm not sure it started with the pandemic.  If you can find a doctor that will listen to you, one that knows how to use a computer, has a competent nurse that will help him, tell him what he cannot remember, then you have to be your own doctor.  I, myself, only me, I blame it on computer files.  Doctors used to have our history typed out.  He could see what was wrong with us, what our complaint was, and it was all in front of him, if he would read it.  There are good doctors that take time with their patients (nurses sometimes outside with a time limit of, used to be 15 minutes, and then they had to move on.  My daughter was a nurse that had to move her doctor on, and he was a caring doctor that took more than 15 minutes with each patient.  With family problems, problems at work, one of the sweetest, caring doc's in the world could not practice medicine the way he was taught and he took his life, at a fairly young age.  I'm at the point I  have to find one close.  My sister thinks the sun rises and sets in hers.  She went to a pulmonary doctor, she was worse.  She came back to him, she trusted, and he put her on the old medications she was on.  She trusts him.  Our old family doctors, we don't have them anymore.  I'm not saying there are not still good doctors, it just is a fact they have to have some humanity.  One of our humanity family practice doctors passed away last week of renal cell carcinoma.  So many people lost a caring physician and a family and community lost a hero.  His brother was a priest, one I had talked to many years ago when Kelli was abused.  They don't approach psych care like they used to and a  telephone call asking the same questions, giving medicine before you see the patient, that medicine dragging them down worse is what I'm facing with a family member right now.  And Scott with blood in his urine, other problems that indicate prostate problems, it is a VA doctor and he will see them again in July.  Most of Brianna's problems stem from hypothyroidism from a young age and I'm sure the drugs and liquor her bio-mom had.  I cannot get her the attention she needs.  It hurts my heart for so many of us elders and so  many young people cannot find someone to listen.  I do not know what to make of this world.  I worry constantly.  

[MartyT]

   
Recently published on KevinMD: 

A physician applies to law school. Here is her application essay.                
       
I have been a physician for 26 years. I have been a fierce patient advocate throughout my entire career. It never occurred to me that physicians do not have the same rights of citizenship that the very patients I fight for do. I always thought I lived in a democracy. Medicine is not what it used to be. Articles relentlessly speak of physician burnout as though we are responsible for what is happening, but that could not be further from the truth. Other articles look for causes like the EHR (electronic health record). The problems are not the hours we put in – that we signed up for – starting with our third year of medical school, every physician got used to sleepless nights. Every physician has been through call and what post-call days feel like. Regardless of specialty, somewhere in training, there was sleep deprivation. That is not the source of burnout.

It is the progressive demoralization of our hard work to attain our degrees and position. We worked 80 to 100 hour weeks in training absorbing as much knowledge as we could because we knew we were responsible for someone’s life, and after training, we would be the final person in charge. That responsibility weighed heavily on us. We wanted to make sure we were optimally prepared.

Meanwhile, businessmen and women invaded medicine. People with no training came along and decided to tell us what we could and could not do. Though we had years of training, these people, essentially practicing medicine without a license, following some arbitrary protocol on a screen in front of them, would deny the medications and procedures and referrals to colleagues, we, with our training, felt necessary.

Legislators have jumped in, practicing medicine without a license, and codified recommendations into law to add insult to injury. Thus creating an atmosphere of fear on top of the demoralization that has already occurred. Boards of Licensure in Medicine (BOLIM), feeling a need to “protect the public,” yield a heavy hand against any such infraction they can find. Mind you, no due process exists with licensing boards, and no one oversees them. What used to be a correction process has become so punitive and arbitrary that entire careers of good, caring physicians have been ruined. This is not burnout. This is moral injury. This is the denigration of an entire profession. No other higher-level degree profession is put through this kind of scrutiny and questioned at every turn. Demoralization compounds when those who have been through BOLIM processes get dragged through the press – and when BOLIMs continue their onslaught and family ask what you did to deserve this – as though you had to do anything. Even physicians whose complaints are later dismissed find themselves branded when they apply for positions as this information is readily available.

When a BOLIM receives a complaint, they ‘investigate’ it. They act as investigative and adjudicatory arms. They are the investigator, jury, judge, and executioner. There is a huge amount of subjectivity to the process and personal animus is clear. Watching careers ruined has given me a new purpose. This is happening all through the country and needs to stop. Physicians are a balance of empathy and scientific inquiry – the persistent attacks are designed to kill – to demoralize, punish and drive physicians to harm. That makes these licensing boards not only operating outside the law but actually culpable. Driving physicians to suicide is murder. Misusing psychiatry, the press to achieve these ends, violating the right to privacy that everyone else in society has, violating the right to due process, all of these together make them arms of destruction, bodies of harm – not bodies of protection, and they should be held accountable for this harm.

To fix this will take a multi-pronged approach. We need to scrap the current State Boards of Licensure in Medicine and start over. Physicians deserve an open, fair process. We deserve to be innocent until proven guilty. Not every complaint deserves an answer. There needs to be screening. Lay people have no business being on these Boards as there often needs to be careful consideration of complex medical issues. Physicians, like every citizen, deserve due process. Too many physicians have been harmed.

My advocacy now needs to be for physicians, and to do that means I need to go to law school. I am ready for this next phase of my life. I grew up with my fists in the air – I have three older brothers (two of whom are attorneys by training), as is my father. My sons are grown and quite supportive of this next chapter; they, in fact, wonder what took me so long to consider law as a career. I bring my experience, dedication, work ethic, and medical expertise with me.

Cathleen London is a family physician.

[Gwenivere]

51 minutes ago, Marg M said:

It hurts my heart for so many of us elders and so  many young people cannot find someone to listen.  I do not know what to make of this world.  I worry constantly.  

Reading Marty’s post emphasized so much of what you posted and what I’ve read others here are caught up in trying to get help, myself included.  It became clearly evident to me how medicine changed when became big business from the cozy clinic days.  I always feel the stress and pressure of seeing doctors now.  Time constrictions and sometimes having to skim over some concerns to have time for others.  I even can see it in my doctor knowing he’s being pressured to keep that appointment exactly to the allotted time.  I make lists, but inevitably something is not discussed fully.  I also feel he had to send me to a thyroid specialist because of lack of time.  She is nice snd all, but not doing anything he wouldn’t IF he had the time.  I haven’t yet, found her to be more helpful.  I talk to her today, but I eat tired of having things tossed back to me about what I want to do with the meds.  I don’t have the MD in my name.  I keep reporting side effects I find odd and told it’s probably not the med, tho that is the only thing I’ve changed.  Anyway, once things start involving specialists, you become a splintered patient.  That’s how I feel.  Each doesn’t have much interest in what others are doing.  I’ve had to reject suggestions so there aren’t too many changes going on at once because then it gets more convoluted as to the source.  And getting them to talk to each other?  It’s almost impossible.   I really need this new doc to talk to my shrink regarding those meds with the thyroid.  She never returned his call.  
 

Fortunately I don’t have high blood pressure.  But it feels like I do when I have to talk to docs, get stuff in the mail from my insurance or replies to my emails.  I cant count how many times I just want to scream.  So, worry constantly?  You betcha.  Worry and dread.  All the while I’m not getting any better for all the time this consumes.

[Margm]

On 5/10/2021 at 3:35 PM, Gwenivere said:

Reading Marty’s post emphasized so much of what you posted and what I’ve read others here are caught up in trying to get help, myself included.

I'm sorry to say I did not read Marty's post before I wrote. I have two very responsible cousins that are physicians.  One has been a noted physician in Chicago for years.  One is head of an emergency room.  When I first noticed a difference was when the HMO's came into being and something called Cigna happened.  My vital physician, he moved to another hospital.  I followed him.  Then I worked with the specialty that trained urology physicians.  It was a teaching hospital.  Meetings were held often and I had to type submissions into medical journals by the residents and associate physicians, head of the department, open applications to the program and submit them to the head of the department.  I was trained quickly which ones to throw away.  The drug companies came giving samples to a "charity" hospital training program.  The medicine might have worked wonders, but when the miracle drug ran out of samples, a generic drug as close to helping the problem, had to be used.  Eventually a law was passed where it was illegal for these companies to give vacations, gifts, etc., as incentive to prescribe their expensive medication, (no generic.)  I worked part-time all those years for three family practice physicians.  One physician saw the patient in a caring way, which took more time.  He was started being timed.  More patients, more money.  The notes I typed got shorter and shorter until I could have typed them without them being dictated, if it was legal.  It wasn't, of course, but that did not keep one resident that I knew personally to ask me to use one of his old operations as a copy to go by, change names of patients, so he could finish up and leave.  

This pandemic has put such a strain on all health workers and has taken some life from them, physically and mentally.  Their insurance has gone up as protection from patient's legal suits.  I've also typed doctors that mentioned patients were people who sued physicians.  

I have not seen this new "underbelly" of physician abuse.  It has been a long time since I have worked for them and changing physicians from my long-time clinic in Arkansas nearly killed me physically.  

I did delete some of this.  Billy used to tell me if I didn't have something to worry about then I'd find something somewhere.  True.  This pandemic should be enough for me for the time being.  "Miles to go before I sleep."  RF, thanks.  I actually don't know how many miles I have left.  I hope its enough.  

[kayc]

Thank you for sharing that, Marty!  I'm reposting it in my diabetic group as it's pretty much what we've been learning/saying!

 

[MartyT]

You are so welcome, Kay. I truly do feel bad for the dedicated physicians who are caught in a clearly dysfunctional system. I just finished reading another article similar to the one I posted above: We Need to Stop Blaming The Doctors

[Gwenivere]

Excellent article, Marty.  Exactly what I see when dealing with my doctors.  Yeah it’s nice try are on time, but I miss the old days when I had to often wait because I knew my doc was giving his all to another patient as he did me.  The clinic booked me last as I took the most time. I don’t know how many afternoons he let me out because the staff was gone.  When I was going on pre covid, I heard those knocks on the door to remind the doctor to wrap it up.  It felt like a lot of humanity has suffered from this.  I’ve gotten to where I’ve altered my interaction.  Left things out in hopes I can send him an email for an answer.  He did tell me he was cutting his days because he wanted to have energy to spend with his family and kids as they grow up.  Can’t fault him there.  The solution is obvious.  Eyes off the money and longer appointments.  Actually they still got got their ones as they would bill insurance more.  I don’t know why that changed.  My doc because of years has gotten to know me, but I can tell from his notes it’s not close to my old guy.  It’s a hard thing to adapt to.  One person you entrust with your health being forcefully limited.  He doesn’t approach me in a rush, but he responds to the reminders given. It’s not good medicine.