Holiday Emptiness

[debi.williams]

Deedo saw every moment Brad. Every second of her beloved granddaughter. I ask you to believe me on this, because I know the Grandparent bond. Mom had it with Max and he feels her xx

[Guest]

Thank you Debi you don't know how badly I needed to be reminded of that. 

[kayc]

It takes everything within us to not let the bittersweet take away from the joy that is ours in these moments.  I long to see my baby granddaughter again, it's been 1 1/2 months and she's changing so fast!  As soon as the temperatures warm up past freezing I will make another trip there.

I'm not so sure but what our partners see and enjoy what's going on with us.

[Gwenivere]

I wonder that too, Kay.  If our partners 'see' what is still going on.  Sometimes I hope they do, others I don't like when we break down and they cannot comfort us.  I've had some weird things happen around the house that kinda spook me.  But then, I am not exactly thinking with a clear mind these days.

[kayc]

Today turned out better than expected for me.  My friend and I went to the dinner at the Methodist Church and visited with a lot of friends there.  My daughter called and we talked for 1 1/2 hours!  I walked Arlie and then my son contacted me.  He'd installed "Hello" on Mozilla so we could video chat, I'd asked him to before and he never had, SO I GOT TO SEE MY GRANDDAUGHTER that way! It was so cute to see her sucking two fingers and looking around.  I want to see her!  Patience...  I spent a couple hours cleaning out sweaters, I'm donating 25 to St. Vinny's, some still had the tags on!  I don't dress up as much now that I'm not working and prefer cardigans and things you don't need to dry clean.  I couldn't believe I had that many!

[Froggie4635]

I spent Thanksgiving with Mark's family...well, my physical body was there...I wasn't. My mother-in-law said I was a trooper. All I could see was Mark in the kitchen cutting up the turkey; it hurt so much not to have him there. When his brother said the blessing, and acknowledged it was the first one without Mark, I wanted to fall apart (I still do, even now). So many mindless conversations going on around me...I could barely speak when someone hugged me and asked how I was. When they said, "are you okay"...all I could do was shake my head no. I felt like an empty shell. I still have two big days to come. I see my therapist in between them. It is hard to be thankful when I hurt so badly. I should be asleep right now, but I am wide awake...and alone. 

[KarenK]

My son,grandson, & I had our turkey dinner. It came out okay. In fact, here I am at 2 AM eating leftovers.

I have lived in this old house for almost 50 years & have experienced many unexplained things. 40 years ago, middle of night something shook the bed. When we turned the light on, there were 4 distinct impressions(like paw prints). Our dog wasn't in the house. One evening during dinner, a young stranger walked past the table & out the door. We thought it had been one of our son's friends. Problem was, no one else had been here. Then there was the time Ron poured a glass of milk & left it on the counter. He wasn't near it & it flew across the kitchen onto the floor. None of us have ever been harmed. I believe there are portals through which the departed can communicate & I think this house is one. I know I'm not crazy. These things really happened. More recently since Ron died, my cat & now my new dog sense something or someone in the kitchen that I cannot see. This happened again last night. The dog went on full alert & stood by my side and just stared & stared into the kitchen. It is a bit eerie. So, I choose to believe it was Ron checking up on my dinner preparations. I have certainly had no other signs from him.

At 10 PM, I went to Penney's with coupons in hand, bought my 2 Christmas gifts for the guys and I am done. BIlls be damned, I'm not letting them have nothing under the tiny tree.

Kay, I don't dress up at all. Just my boots and jeans for the few times I venture out. I live in my fleece pants & t-shirts. I have cold weather clothes, but don't have much use for them here. Hanging onto them, just in case there's a mountain in my future.  LOL Will have to conquer the one I'm climbing now, first.

[kayc]

Well if you move to the mountains here, I have lots of sweaters in every size!  LOL  I'm a jeans and be comfortable girl too!  I only dress up for church when I have to be on the platform.

If I'd had a turkey I'd have been eating leftovers at 2 am too!   I didn't cook one because when I got groceries I thought I was going to my son's house, and didn't buy one later because my daughter couldn't come, her car needs worked on, and it's just me.

I should have been on line here during the night I guess because I was awake for a couple of hours and it looks like all of you were too!

I have to hand it to you, doing the black Friday thing, I've only done that once in my life (I hate shopping and crowds and traffic, and of course I live 60 miles away from a shopping center).

[kevin]

Three more days of cold here, and only moderate amount of snow....Clear sky and some kind of bright moon. My clothing ensemble consists of two sets of Church duds and the rest casual or Golf related.....Got rid of most of my work stuff years ago....But In the mountains you need the Coats and footwear if you travel....we got 70 miles to the nearest Walmart, otherwise its mail order or smalltown (big) prices.....Karen, very commendable your attitude about the gifts for the Grandkids......and that's why we're thankful

[kayc]

The only place we have to buy clothing here is St. Vinny's!  We're 60 miles from shopping.  If I need anything, from batteries to flea meds, I buy it on line.  So much easier than driving so far away, fighting bad roads and traffic and crowds and dredging around all day.  

It's cold here too.  I hope it warms up a bit, even if just for a short while.  It seems we don't get moderate weather anymore, it's either too hot, too cold, snowing or raining hard, no happy medium!