iPraiseHim Posted September 30, 2016 Author Report Share Posted September 30, 2016 I ran out of toast this morning. I found I was lack toast intolerant. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted October 1, 2016 Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 George...hope you did not have any milk. Gin Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted October 1, 2016 Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 Ha, ha, ha! Thanks for the giggle 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted October 1, 2016 Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 9 hours ago, kayc said: I don't fear dying and being alone as much as I fear living and being alone. I do not want to live to be 90. I've seen too much go downhill from there, I'm with you on this, Kay. There are times I do get down thinking of dying alone, but hopefully I'll be do out if it, it won't matter. A friend tells me Steve may show up to help me. Who knows. Living alone and getting older is a big concern. Eventually we both would have reached a point that we probably wouldn't be much help to each other, but it still would be great to go thru these stages together. I cannot even fathom 90 or even 80 with my genetic disposition. Working at the nursing home many things I never considered happening I am much more aware of now. Much different perspective of the widows/widowers with serious health issues at 61 than I had at 38 when I started there. Plus even being in a place like that. It's really nice, but giving up your home and pets, adhering to thier schedule of meals, lack of privacy must be hard. Steve escaped that fate and I hope I do too. You're still alone even with all the people. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 1, 2016 Report Share Posted October 1, 2016 I've heard many people say that dying is peaceful, but judging from some of the end of life situations some of us have seen, the pain/medical part of it can be anything but. I fear trying to manage on my own when I'm too old to. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted October 2, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 2, 2016 NOTICE: Christian content shared below: +On my phone I have an app of the Bible called You Version. On the app there is a section for reading plans. There is a reading plan called "Grief Bites: A New Approach to growing..." This is a good tool to help us cope with our grief with scripture verses. I believe it is helpful when a person is ready to hear the message. Most of it is accurate except I don't agree that we can get over or that our grief can be completed. Grief is not a course to finish. I find that I go through cycles of grief. Everyone deals with it differently. I have begun to review some of my first postings on here and can see how I have grown through grief. There is still much I have not dealt with either. I have given myself permission to face it when I am ready. I have been blessed with learning and applying the study of the Sovereignty of God. It has prepared me for even this tremendous sudden death of my wife. The trauma, feelings, and emotions that occur after Rose Anne's sudden death were like a major catastrophic earth quake in my life. Even now, there are severe tremors and after shocks. It has taken me awhile to get my feet on solid ground. There is much I have learned about myself through this grieving process. This group has helped me in countless ways to help understand grief and the wonderful support of this group. thank you everyone. - Shalom 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 3, 2016 Report Share Posted October 3, 2016 I'm afraid if I heard someone teach that it was something to get over, they would lose me at that point, how can I believe anything they have to say when they're so wrong right out of the chute? The Sovereignty of God is indeed a good subject to help one put things into perspective and glean some understanding. 17 hours ago, iPraiseHim said: There is much I have learned about myself through this grieving process. Me too! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad Posted October 3, 2016 Report Share Posted October 3, 2016 On 9/30/2016 at 10:48 AM, kayc said: I don't fear dying and being alone as much as I fear living and being alone. I also agree. My greatest fear now is dementia or a stroke that doesn't kill me just leaves me unable to care for myself. That idea terrifies me. I still doubt I will live to see seventy but then I didn't think I would see forty, and then I knew I wouldn't see fifty, and was absolutely positive I would not see sixty. So we know why I stay away from all forms of betting including the stock market. 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 4, 2016 Report Share Posted October 4, 2016 I don't relish this whole thing of growing old alone. And the longevity my family has... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted October 7, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 7, 2016 This has been a challenging week. Tuesday I came out to a dead battery and a full day of work. I had to walk a mile to get a car rental for the day. My cleaning client offered to charge up the battery while I was working there. So, I took the battery out and brought it with me. The problem was their son ( a recent engineering graduate of University of VA) lost on of the battery clips and the other clip wasn't even attached to the wires. So Plan B. I took the battery to the Auto parts store and they slow charged it until the store closed. I picked it up, bought a battery charger and charged it up during the night. I installed the battery in the morning but something was causing the interior lights to stay on so I disconnected the battery, filled the rental with gas, dropped the car rental off and walked the mile back home. As I thought about the problem, I realized that I had mistakenly turned the interior lights on and they had stayed on. (OPERATOR ERROR). another expensive lesson learned. The A/C now works, along with the cruise control, and the radio. Now I am preparing for the rain and winds for the next few days. No work scheduled until Monday. Be safe everyone - Shalom 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 8, 2016 Report Share Posted October 8, 2016 Oh and I was just about to suggest you remove the fuse (I did that on my truck because I had a bad habit of not getting the door close good enough. Then my neighbor broke the light so it was a moot point. Now my dash lights aren't coming on and I haven't had time to troubleshoot that, possibly a fuse, I hope nothing more. I really don't need them, I only drive in the daytime and don't drive the truck much at all, it's strictly for snow. I'm so glad you have the A/C working along with the cruise control and radio! My son put a radio in my truck because the CD player/radio was stolen out of it before I picked it up from the auction, but I don't have a manual and don't know how to operate it so it stays on the same channel and my option is on or off. It's a weird one that I've never seen one like. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted October 8, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 8, 2016 KayC, Try an online search for your radio, type in the make and model and manual. It is amazing what you can find on the internet. My iPhone 4S is no longer being service with updates and fixes and I had another complication with an app not working so I decided to upgrade to an android phone. That is a whole different world. Different apps, different functions. I finally got the phone service transferred from the iPhone to the android. They said it would take five minutes. After three hours, I called back to find out it could take up to two days! It was only about 9 hours thankfully. ( Now I don't have to carry both phone with me). Now I have to transfer all of the data to the android. Tried several programs but they don't transfer the information very well. Two programs are not working correctly so I have sent out some service tickets to get the problems resolved. - Shalom 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted October 9, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 9, 2016 Today marks 600 days since my beloved passed away. There was no warning or hint that Monday morning when I left to go to work would be the last time I saw her alive. Tears are flowing now just writing it down, shortness of breath, etc... It still affects me. When I returned home, it was such a shock to find her lifeless body. It has forever changed my life. This place is my safe haven no matter what I am experiencing after that fateful day. I had no control over her death as much as I wished, wanted, of prayed. I love my Rose Anne so much and although she is not here physically she is in my heart and soul. I could not imagine living one day apart from her yet I have. This place has helped me to learn to live, breath, and move. I would have never chosen this path. I thought I was a sensitive and compassionate person before her death. But this has both crushed and strengthened my character even more. I humbly thank you, MartyT, for your countless hours of study, professionalism, and character in providing and helping all of us who are grieving over loss. Although we don't always agree on every subject and topic shared, we each give each other mercy and grace to share, learn, grieve, and grow. I hope I can be of service to others as they face and learn to deal with their grief. I am not healed or restored. I am learning to live with this grief and I am also learning to live again. I don't know if I will ever experience such Love and Joy in my life as I did with my wife. I miss that. All I can do is live in this moment, one day at a time, trusting that God knows what is best. I can cherish the good times and learn and grow. I pray each one of us finds our way. - Shalom, George 7 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted October 9, 2016 Report Share Posted October 9, 2016 Prayers mentioned: George, you pray for us that request it. You do a lot for us. You are one of us. You suffer, we suffer. Thank you for being just who you are. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted October 9, 2016 Report Share Posted October 9, 2016 On 10/3/2016 at 0:46 PM, Brad said: My greatest fear now is dementia or a stroke that doesn't kill me just leaves me unable to care for myse That is my greatest fear. Having no savings and when I do have savings, someone requires it for life or death, I am going to a funeral home and ask if they have a "lay-a-way" plan, and also have a memorial made for myself and Billy to be put behind my mom and dad's. My uncle would not leave me alone until I took the two plots. What can you say when someone insists on giving you burial plots. "Okay, I will use them wisely." Well, Billy and I both will be cremated, mixed and buried I think 25 inches in front of the stone. Its as good a place as any. I don't think Billy will mind being buried with my kinfolks. He and I will take that up later, much later. My kids keep me in debt, so I definitely know I have a place to go. A place I did not want to do, but shes will collect my retirement, so I won't be any trouble to her. It was not what I wanted. Maybe I will go fast. Billy did. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted October 9, 2016 Report Share Posted October 9, 2016 George I am sending you my love and prayers. Even at your hardest times your posts on here are my lights on this dark journey of grief. Bless you and thank you. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 9, 2016 Report Share Posted October 9, 2016 George, I already thought of that but I don't see a make and model number, it's not like anything I've ever seen. My eyesight isn't very good and that's part of my problem, I can't see all the stuff you'd have to be really close up to see and can't get my nose on it from being in the truck. That should have been done before it was installed. I have two stations set in it, that's about what I'm stuck with, I can't even figure out how to turn the volume up and down. I mean this radio is really strange! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted October 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2016 Hurricane Matthew did not turn east and south as originally predicted. My sister and Dad's lost power during the storm. My dad's was restored about twelve hours later but my sister& her husband is still without power. There are so many trees down and high water that is making it difficult to restore power. The power company predicts that all power should be restored by Thursday evening. Family brought a generator for them to use until the power is restored. The weather is cool 55-70. I was fortunate to not have any issues. - Shalom 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 11, 2016 Report Share Posted October 11, 2016 I'm sorry to hear they were affected, but glad you weren't. They're predicting a storm here Thursday through Saturday, I hope my garage, and patio roof make it through intact. They're predicting power outages...not looking forward to it! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted October 11, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 11, 2016 My sister's power was restored this afternoon around 2pm. KayC, Praying you will be spared. Do you have a generator? - Shalom 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brad Posted October 12, 2016 Report Share Posted October 12, 2016 Lost power for two weeks about 15 years ago, I ran out after the storm and bought a generator and there it has sat for 15 years waiting for us to lose power again. I do try to remember to run it a couple of times a year, probably should put that on my todo list for tomorrow. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted October 12, 2016 Report Share Posted October 12, 2016 Predicting the same here, Kay. We have a generator. Plus it has be hauled into carport from the garage. I wouldn't have clue how to get it running and his system of extention cords he ran thru the house to keep the basics going. I never lived in fear of power going out til he left. I don't like messing with gasoline also. That was a 'dad' job. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 12, 2016 Report Share Posted October 12, 2016 11 hours ago, iPraiseHim said: Do you have a generator? No it was stolen. But just this week a couple died of carbon monoxide poisoning from using a generator in their house, I think I'd be afraid to hook one up if I knew how and could physically lift it which I couldn't. I'll live w/o the elec. until they get it back on, if it goes out, same as I always have. At least I have wood heat. And 12 gal. water on hand. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted October 15, 2016 Report Share Posted October 15, 2016 George, I know this picture was taken of the two of you some time ago, but I love it...the picture of George and I was taken 15 years ago and I show aging now, but I also know he wouldn't have noticed. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted October 16, 2016 Author Report Share Posted October 16, 2016 Yes, It was a picture taken when we first dated 28 years ago. It is the way I remember us and when we both looked our best. The eyes are the windows of the soul and this picture speaks volumes. I have another picture of Rose Anne that I have put up here that was taken about 10 years ago when we were both working in our residential home cleaning business. We worked as a team cleaning homes for eight years until the devastating effects of diabetes took away her strength and stamina to work. She was disabled for six years. She gradually got weaker and weaker until she was no more. The other picture captures her essence whenever she would look towards me... Such a genuine, loving, and sincere smile. I was recalling today "terms of endearment" we would call each other. We have our own special language and intimacy. I am thankful for the good memories I have and the wonderful love we shared each day. It is such a wonderful treasure. I cherished every day then and now. - Shalom 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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