The Sting Of Death

[iPraiseHim]

13 hours ago, Teddy said:

Absolutely Shari 

As an example, consider how the patriarch Abraham reacted when his wife died. The Bible says that “Abraham began to mourn and to weep over Sarah.” The expression “began to” suggests that it took some time for him to cope with his loss. * Another example is Jacob, who was deceived into believing that his son Joseph had been killed by a wild animal. He grieved for “many days,” and his family members were unable to comfort him. Several years later, the death of Joseph still weighed heavily on his mind.

 

Abraham mourned the loss of his beloved Sarah

Clearly, Shari such painful and long-lasting feelings are only natural. Each person grieves in his or her own way, and it would be unwise to judge the way another person responds to tragedy. At the same time, we may need to hold off from condemning ourselves if our reaction to loss seems excessive. How can we cope with grief?

Thank you for sharing.  I had not pondered those verses since going through my own grief.  It has been almost 21 months since my wife passed away.  I still grieve and mourn over her.  This group is a safe heaven no matter what are views are concerning death.  Most people do not really deal with it and pretend it will never affect them.  Grief is another expression of love for my beloved wife, Rose Anne.  With the help of God, prayers, and this group of great people, I am learning to live with the loss and discover new insights about life and love.  Everyone experiences and expresses it differently.  There is no perfect way to get through the grief.  I have learned to face each moment as it comes.  It definitely makes us think of what is truly important in our life.  - Shalom

[Bee4Shine]

I do agree with everything you said. Death is the only sure thing in life. It is important to talk about it, to expect it and not fear it. Grief is one of those bittersweet things IMO. I avoid it because I know its sting is painful, but when I give into it, I feel so much better. Death is one of those things that nothing and no one can fix, except time. And time is a slow fix. I really learned to live in the moment in my grief. When the pain was too much, I would focus on each moment, sometimes each breath. And then it would be just a little bit better. I think I really started to improve when I realized that there wasn't a fix. Nothing I could do would remove the pain or frustration. So my expectation that the pain would remain, made it a little bit better.  I am sorry for your loss, I am praying for you.

[kayc]

Sometimes I forget that others are reading what we write, besides those posting here and it takes me by surprise when someone "drops in" and adds to the conversation here.  Welcome here!  Your assessment that 

16 hours ago, Bee4Shine said:

So my expectation that the pain would remain, made it a little bit better.

is so true...acceptance, learning that we live with this, that is a turning point.  You're so right also about

16 hours ago, Bee4Shine said:

I really learned to live in the moment in my grief.

That has been something lifechanging for me.

[Marie Lee]

I have learned not to speak much of Kev and my loss in social situations...it's  a sad reality we live...

I get that sometimes a somber subject is not appropriate..but it's odd that people ask how you are...but don't really want to know.

I am fortunate to have some family and a few frds.. But I have lost some...

I am just determining in my mind that my life is going into a new chapter with new experiences and people .

Writing the new pages as I go..... Marie

[Brad]

6 hours ago, Marie Lee said:

I am fortunate to have some family and a few frds.. But I have lost some...

Grief does rewrite one's contacts list; doesn't it?

6 hours ago, Marie Lee said:

I am just determining in my mind that my life is going into a new chapter with new experiences and people .

Writing the new pages as I go..... Marie

I also recognize that my life is going into a new chapter...I just don't like where the plot is heading.  The protagonist is struggling to make sense and seems to be adrift.  

[KATPILOT]

I feel as if I am writing an entirely new book only for this one I think I have a ghostwriter helping me with every chapter.

[scba]

9 hours ago, Marie Lee said:

I have learned not to speak much of Kev and my loss in social situations...it's  a sad reality we live...

I get that sometimes a somber subject is not appropriate..but it's odd that people ask how you are...but don't really want to know.

 

Last Night I thought that in these two-three years, I have not added anyone new to my life. Friends who remained are from "before". I have new co workers, but they know little about my present life, and nothing from "before". I learned to fake "good-socially acceptable" attitudes and to keep silence about me. The few times I opened myself went quite wrong. I still percieve people don't want to know. 

 

[Marie Lee]

Hi Brad, I am adrift as well...Kat, yes, that does seem like our experience...a new book and a ghostwriter...maybe the ghostwriter is my fave companion these days..

Ana, it's a sad reality we live isn't it? 

Its hard to convey to people how it impacts our everything and yet, we must not talk about it...

 

[KATPILOT]

3 hours ago, scba said:

The few times I opened myself went quite wrong. I still percieve people don't want to know. 

 

Ana hang around with widowed people  I find it easy to talk with them and when I meet someone these days and they have experienced a loss, I find the connection makes a difference. Meanwhile I keep my feelings about what really matters to myself as you do when dealing with the general uneducated population.

[Teddy]

i would have to say “My favorite scripture,”  “is Revelation 21:3, 4.” It reads: “God himself will be with them. And he will wipe out every tear from their eyes, and death will be no more, neither will mourning nor outcry nor pain be anymore. The former things have passed away.”

 “This promise says it all. My feelings really go out to all of you who have lost someone they love but who are not aware of this hope of seeing their loved one again",,,,,,,,,,,

 

 

[kayc]

4 hours ago, Teddy said:

My feelings really go out to all of you who have lost someone they love but who are not aware of this hope of seeing their loved one again",,,,,,,,,,,

Since that hope is based on our personal faith that we work out, that's true, some do not have it.  I try to encourage everyone to at least open their minds to the possibility that just maybe life after this exists!  There is so much research on this and even if someone is of a different faith/belief, they can agree that there's a lot we don't know.  Even just believing in that possibility gives one hope.  The only things that extinguishes that hope is closing your mind to the possibility.

This is not a place for proselytizing but certainly caring that others have that hope of being with their loved one again is not amiss!

[Teddy]

“The living know that they will die, but the dead know nothing at all, nor do they have any more reward, because all memory of them is forgotten. Whatever your hand finds to do, do with all your might, for there is no work nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom in the Grave, where you are going.”

Nevertheless we all have the hope of a resurrection, that we will see our loved ones again soon...

(What proof) 

The resurrection of lazurus "Jesus Friend" Was a foregleam of  "Future Ressurection" 

Soon we will see our loved ones.....?

[kayc]

It can't be soon enough for my likings!

[MartyT]

On 12/3/2016 at 11:45 AM, kayc said:

This is not a place for proselytizing but certainly caring that others have that hope of being with their loved one again is not amiss!

Teddy, you are entitled to your beliefs, and I know you're trying to offer comfort, but when you post, I would ask that you take care to adhere to our guidelines regarding the sharing of your faith-based beliefs about the afterlife (see About Grief Healing Discussion Groups):

• Messages will be monitored for accuracy, honesty and appropriateness, and we reserve the right to remove immediately and without warning any posting deemed to be inaccurate, untruthful, repetitive, inappropriate, objectionable, insulting, disrespectful or intolerant of another's loss or point of view. Care is taken to respect individual religious and spiritual beliefs, but members are cautioned not to preach, defend, explain or promote a particular religious doctrine or faith-based practice or belief. In cases of abuse, the moderator reserves the right to ban a member from posting on the site. In such instances, an explanation will be provided to the user.

[kayc]

I wasn't at all upset by what she posted, I was just trying to gently warn her that it's not allowed here so she wouldn't get in trouble for it...been there!

[Teddy]

“When my father died in a traffic accident, I could not believe it at first,”  "It seemed so unfair—he was just an innocent pedestrian. But there was nothing I could do. He was in a coma for five days before he passed away. Somehow, I kept myself from weeping in front of my mother, but I broke down when I was alone. ‘Why? Why?’ I kept asking myself.

“During those dreadful days, I kept asking, praying for help so I could control my emotions and to give me peace. And I gradually felt calmer.

I remembered a while ago I read in an old ancient book of wisdom  that ‘unexpected events’ can befall any one of us at anytime of our lives..........