Margm Posted July 12, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 12, 2016 I am going to type this, then I might be off for awhile. My desk is in the moving van. I am a contortionist trying to type, and at my age I might have a hard time getting all four limbs to work after sitting in this position. For some strange reason I was getting all of the forum from back in April. Maybe it is a "sign" that I need to read the book Marty was speaking about, about it's author. This is very strange. But, I do not have time to dwell on it right now. I lead a strange life, always have. And sometimes I do talk too much. Well, most times. I do have the book by this author and something tells me, when I can get in a comfortable position, I need to read it. I don't understand why all my forum was from back in April. I do know, discretion is the better part of valor, and I do not live those words. I just seem to "let it all hang out." I am very tired, I hurt all over more than anywhere else. I will be on later on. We have the moving van till Thursday. Still lots more to do. Papers to read and sign. I don't understand a lot of this stuff. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 12, 2016 Report Share Posted July 12, 2016 Karen, aren't you in AZ? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 12, 2016 Report Share Posted July 12, 2016 Marg, Good luck with the moving stuff...it will be strange to have you quiet here.... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted July 12, 2016 Report Share Posted July 12, 2016 good luck Marg. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 12, 2016 Report Share Posted July 12, 2016 You do realize, I hope, that if you click on a member's icon (picture beneath his/her name, to the left of any post) you will go to that person's profile, which includes where he or she is located (that is, as long as the member has chosen to share that information when filling out our registration application). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 12, 2016 Report Share Posted July 12, 2016 Yes, I realize that, thanks. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted July 12, 2016 Report Share Posted July 12, 2016 Yes Kay, I am in Az. or the "Hubs Of Hell" as I call it this time of year. My yard problem is one of those "coulda-woulda-shouda" things. When Ron was here, we had a decent yard, even had roses many moons ago until the gophers ate them. I took care of the yard for many years as he was not physically able. We should have had desert landscaping put in a long time ago, but silly me, I wanted grass. It is not cheap to accomplish and not something I can afford. With losing two thirds of the household income, water for the yard is just not a priority. Unfortunately, it is what it is. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted July 13, 2016 Report Share Posted July 13, 2016 Karen, I grew up in ABQ, NM and lawns were not the norm. Now that I live in Seattle, I find them nice if there is upkeep, but in general a pain as I get older. We decked over a lot of it and put river rock in others. The city here can only intervene in private property if it poses a possible problem like vehicles that don't run or are leaking oil. Are you in a gated community with rules about upkeep? I hear ya on water usage. We pay a fortune despite being a water city. I remember a long time ago watering with hose sprinkles and how our rates soared! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted July 13, 2016 Report Share Posted July 13, 2016 Nope Gwen, not in a gated community nor is there a homeowner association. Just a city ordinance that requires your lawn to be a "verdant green". If it gets too green and more than 5 or 6 inches high before mowing, you will get a citation for that also. Oh, and I'm also responsible for keeping the grass and weeds out of the sidewalk cracks in front of the house. That's really lame. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted July 13, 2016 Report Share Posted July 13, 2016 Karen, I live in Arizona as well, and I agree-having a lawn is kinda crazy, but not as crazy as being expected to have a perfect lawn here. Also, once you have one it sure is a pain in the neck and a big expense to get it switched over to desert landscaping. I have been fortunate in not having that situation my self; when I lived in Tucson the house I bought had a desert landscaped yard with no grass, and now, in Sedona I'm in a condo and have gravel and whatever I plant in pots on the patios. The Homeowners Association property manager is always unhappy about what she sees as an excess of plants/flowers at my house. Unfortunately for her, the rules do not specify an exact number of plants and while it does say they have to be in pots, it doesn't specify how expensive the pots have to be. Also, the neighbors-most of them-really enjoy the flowers. I had a neighbor tell me that I must be a plant hoarder because I have at least 20 of them. I told her, well I paint flowers-it's what I do. So, if I was wanting to paint flowers on that day, for example, how many choices would I have today? About three out of the 20 had a bloom that was open that day, which is pretty typical. And in the winter when the plants are mostly dormant the mgr complains that they are mostly dead. I guess she never took a science class, or she would realize that if they have buds, they are alive and if they have some green stems or leaves, they are not dead either. This is Arizona; it gets really hot in the summer, and in many parts it gets too cold in the winter. It is not Hawaii here. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted July 13, 2016 Report Share Posted July 13, 2016 Karen, Washington is a no state income tax state. We have some crazy ways they cite things to make income but your situation is the weirdest I've heard! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted July 14, 2016 Report Share Posted July 14, 2016 Went to the lawyer today to get my will and trust changed. Remove Al. It was hard to take his name off. It seems so final. Have to go tomorrow to sign. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Froggie4635 Posted July 14, 2016 Report Share Posted July 14, 2016 (((( Gin)))) I know that must be hard. I still have Mark as my beneficiary on my work insurance policy. Don't really know anyone else I could change it to. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted July 14, 2016 Report Share Posted July 14, 2016 Just did that myself, Gin. Hardest thing I did. Makes things even more real and I'm still stressed out about it weeks later. I thought he would always be there to handle things. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brat#2 Posted July 14, 2016 Report Share Posted July 14, 2016 Gin, I just did that too. It is very hard. Bit by bit his name is being taken off everything and that is so hard to do and handle. Hugs to you Joyce 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 14, 2016 Report Share Posted July 14, 2016 Maryann, How about his mom? You've always spoken highly of her, and that might be a way to please Mark as well. Just a thought... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted July 15, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2016 Have not had time to read all updates. Karen, I think losing a child must be the hardest thing to bear. My heart is with you. I am sorry for all the worry the people on this forum have. I remember 10 years ago after our last move, Billy and I said we would never move again. He moved on ahead of me this time. I just hope my son can get some rest because his dad would have been so proud of him. These last three days have been horrible. No one could understand why I would leave paradise for where I moved to, the location, the crime, the noise. No one can understand that the quiet, nature, no crime, no contact with people was not how I wanted to end up. My neighbor was complaining about the people upstairs fussing at midnight. I heard it the other night and I thought it was wonderful. Just different people. As long as no guns are brought into the yelling, I am fine. I cannot find the most basic things right now. Just ready for bed. I am sorry for all our misery. There were moments at the last loading that I thought "what am I doing." Now, I just try not to think. I wish for peace for all of us Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 15, 2016 Report Share Posted July 15, 2016 Marg, I'm glad your son was such a help. I hope, with you, that he sleeps well tonight, you too. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clematis Posted July 15, 2016 Report Share Posted July 15, 2016 2 hours ago, Marg M said: I cannot find the most basic things right now. Just ready for bed. I am sorry for all our misery. There were moments at the last loading that I thought "what am I doing." Now, I just try not to think. I wish for peace for all of us Moving is hell, huh? I am just heading into it in about a week. We are working on the painting, then the carpet comes, the rug comes back, and then I actually move. I have been so focused on how to get these other things done that I haven't even figured out how to do the actual moving. I am hoping that once the painting and carpeting are done the rest may be more apparent and happens quickly, because I really hope I am at a point where I am able to find my basic stuff by the time I go back to work, assuming that I am going back to work, which is somewhat uncertain... Well, good luck, Marg, my moving buddy! I am so exhausted I can hardly move, and I don't thing I've even hit the hardest stuff yet. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted July 15, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2016 I am not sure about quoting from books as they are written, but I am going to do this. I have seen this comedian a number of times and he wrote the book in 2014, his wife had been gone four years, I think. He talks to her often. I loved it because he said people try to fix him up with women but there would only be one woman for him. He relates the conversations they have right on down to "Nan" answering him. "Finally he said "Nan?" and she said "Ya, Mart?" He said "Where'd you go?" No answer this time. And, none expected. I've asked the unanswerable. But not to worry. There's still life to be lived, laughs to be had, children to cherish, dear friends to be gossiped about, and costars to be upstaged. As for the grander questions, their answers will surely reveal themselves. Someday. In a fleeting moment." I find this man an inspiration. His writing about his wife reminds me of our guys and I appreciate them. My daughter went for her MRI follow up this morning. The dermoid cysts (tumors) in her brain had grown. She has Factor VIII in her blood, which is a bleeding disorder she inherited from me. They cannot do the radiation that would get rid of these cysts because she might bleed in her brain. They will just have to keep doing this radiation. They will grow back. I try not to think too much right now.. Sat with my mom this morning and she is lifeless in the bed. I am useless. All I see is Billy. I don't know why. It tears me up and my sister wants me to sit vigil with my mom.. Kelli came in and Kelli was a nurse. She sat on Mama's bed and by the time we left Mama was singing. She is 95 and she stubbornly hangs on to a life of nothing. She is under hospice care, but wish she could be on an Alzheimer's unit. Because of finances that cannot happen. I know my sister is going crazy and I am useless. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted July 15, 2016 Report Share Posted July 15, 2016 Marg, my dear, I am so sorry about your daughter ~ and your mom ~ and your sister And please don't describe yourself as useless. I'm sure it took a Herculean effort on your part just to show up. But you DID show up. You are so much braver than you give yourself credit for . . . ♥ 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted July 15, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 15, 2016 Billy had bought the RV in March of last year so we could go help take care of my mama. He had made arrangements to stay at an RV park on a lake down here and had a number of conversations with the owner. So, we had planned on coming down to help and I keep looking for Billy but he is not there and Mama just reminds me that he is not there. I need to be realistic but that is a word that is missing from my vocabulary.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted July 15, 2016 Report Share Posted July 15, 2016 Marg, You are on my heart. How very difficult it is for you right now. Realistic is a bitter pill to swallow. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted July 15, 2016 Report Share Posted July 15, 2016 Marg, you have way too much on your plate, and yet you maintain your sense of humor. That comedian may be admirable, but so are you! 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted July 16, 2016 Author Report Share Posted July 16, 2016 I appreciate all of you. I wish to be brave, but bravery is so elusive to me right now. Jello is a more apt description. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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