LAK Posted May 17, 2016 Report Share Posted May 17, 2016 Hello, I'm glad to find this site, referred by another widow on the CSN group for colorectal cancer. My husband passed away on 11/2/14 from metastatic colon cancer that spread to his small intestines and lymph nodes. He lived 23 months from diagnosis in December 2012. He was 61 and I miss him so much. I still work full time and I'm very thankful for that. It has kept me busy and now I can look forward to retirement in hopefully about 5 years. I work with good people and have good benefits. My husband worked very hard his last few years to get things "set" for me. While I am by no means rich, I am comfortable and currently have no debt, I am so thankful he thought of me this way. This was I guess his last gift to me. I joined a local bereavement group sponsored by the hospice facility he was in at the end. I found great comfort with these 5 other widows, we could laugh and cry together and only they knew how I was feeling. About 9 months later I started to see a therapist one on one to deal with some unresolved anger I had after his death. Some of that anger was with my husband. Again, I found great comfort working with this therapist. He has helped me grieve and deal with my feelings. I told him some of my deepest darkest secrets and fears and cried a million tears in his office. He told me at our last visit a month or so ago that he felt I didn't need to come back, I guess I had graduated from therapy. 18 months in, I now feel I am doing pretty good. I still have moments when I break down, but I let the tears flow whenever I need to. I am lucky to have a few very good friends and a wonderful family, most of them living in the same city I live in. I have been on two vacations since he died, one with family and one on my own meeting up with my best friend in Florida. I feel comfortable doing things I want to do. The bereavement coordinator in the group I went to said the second year is about figuring out what you want to do with the rest of your life. I feel pretty in control of my life right now and I know it's with the help of many people along the way. I was open to anything that might help me feel better. I had no idea how sad I would be after he passed. It is very overwhelming. I have met many widows and like to think I have helped 2 friends who became widows in the last year and another friend whose husband is currently in treatment for a similar cancer to my husband's. I'm hoping to find others here I can relate to and share things with. Linda 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 17, 2016 Report Share Posted May 17, 2016 Hi, Linda, welcome to this site. I am sorry for your loss. As you've discovered, there is no way to prepare for their death. My husband's death was sudden and a shock, yet we'd had discussions about "what if" and I can honestly say I had no clue how far reaching and hard hitting it would be, even though we were practically joined at the hip. I hope you'll do some reading on this site while you're getting to know us here. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KATPILOT Posted May 17, 2016 Report Share Posted May 17, 2016 40 minutes ago, LAK said: I'm hoping to find others here I can relate to and share things with. Linda You surely will Linda and welcome to this site. We are so sorry for your loss and the reason you have found us but I think you will find comfort here. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 17, 2016 Report Share Posted May 17, 2016 Linda- It sounds as if you have a good handle on things. I hope you find the comfort, acceptance and camaraderie that you seek. I too am sorry for the reason you have for joining us. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted May 17, 2016 Report Share Posted May 17, 2016 Linda, I'm so glad you have decided to join us. I am "Wolfen" to you on the CSN site. Just as our friends on CSN saved my life and sanity many times during the cancer battles my husband and daughter fought, this site has been a lifesaver. We will all get through this together. Karen 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted May 17, 2016 Report Share Posted May 17, 2016 Linda, welcome to our little forum of shared pain. I know you are ahead of some of us in time, and you sound like you are doing a very good job of being strong. Know you have all the weak moments we all do still. Well, my run-on fingers could say more. But right now, just know you are a welcome addition. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kevin Posted May 18, 2016 Report Share Posted May 18, 2016 Linda, well your friend directed you correctly....great sight and similar stories to your own....Welcome 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LAK Posted May 19, 2016 Author Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 Thank you, everyone, for the welcome. There is so much information on this site. I look forward to getting to know you and reading all the posts I can relate to. Linda 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 19, 2016 Report Share Posted May 19, 2016 There is even more information that meets the eye, Marty is a vast resource of information, if there's anything you're looking for on a grief subject, ask her, she'll likely have links for you! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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