kayc Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 There you go, Butch, Dr. Mitch ordered it, R & G it is! 7 lbs 14 oz is terrific! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
enna Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 How could we not be happy about all this good news! Our sweet Gracie gaining weight and you taking care of YOU. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted June 7, 2016 Report Share Posted June 7, 2016 Great news, Butch! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted June 8, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 While its overwhelmingly joyous having my son DIL two grandsons and now my granddaughter with me my heart aches so badly. I look at the kids innocence and wonder and joy and the cuddles and smiles and coos from Gracie and my heart bursts with joy but aches that their Grammy Mary is missing it all. I still lay awake and touch her side of the bed and smell her pillows that still after 17 months on the 9th smell like her and I cry and my heart hurts. I keep thinking it's going to be 17 months I should be over it. But I'm not even close. My Mary was my other half my lifeline my best friend my love my princess my bride my everything for 34years. I can't let go. I simply want her back. If only for a moment... Butch. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted June 8, 2016 Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 Butch, Billy wore a pair of red pants until they were threadbare. I fussed about them. So, he finally unzipped the bottom half, but he would not wear them as shorts. When clearing out his clothes I found them. I sleep with them and the pair of pants that he had replaced them with. I know we cannot get them back and sometimes I will just be sitting watching a TV show and just wonder where he is. I don't have the closeness that some people have. I hope when I get settled down that I can talk to him again. I try talking to him now and all I can tell him, Jesus and God is "I don't know." "I just don't know anything except you all need to help me." I get no answers so I must not be asking right. And, as far as being "over it," well that is just not going to happen. Well, I am supposed to believe that Mary, as well as Billy know how much we miss them. I want to believe this. I want to find this belief. I understand Butch. But, I don't think I am the only one who understands this, a lot more reading this knows how much we all miss our mates. And as far as getting over it, that is not going to happen. I guess I am not Debbie Downer, but Morose Margaret might fit me. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted June 8, 2016 Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 Butch, I understand because my wife passed away almost 16 months ago. You have been through so much and my heart aches with you. I can never let go either. My wife was my best friend, companion. The pain is real and a necessary part of our grief journey. Nothing in my life prepared me for her death. And it will just take time to grieve. What I have learned is that I'm still supposed to live because I am still here. In your own way you will find your way through this deepest darkest valley. I wake up breath, count my blessings, and try to do whatever is in front of me this day. Feeling are not facts. But they are feeling that will help us to cope and learn and grow when we are ready. I initially just had trouble breathing. Just the thought of her took my breath away. I'm gradually learning to sleep, eat healthier, move, drink more water, and living just in today. At some point the intense constant grief will subside. My grief never goes away completely but I am able to cope with it better as I do the grief work. Be patient with yourself and give yourself time to heal even though you probably don't want to. I'm still praying for you, Butch. Shalom - George 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted June 8, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 Thank you Marg and George. I almost feel guilty for feeling the way I do but having my blessed family by my side and others don't have that. So in a way I beat myself up for that. But then I try to tell myself we each are on our own grief journeys and sometimes very different ones even though the pain and grief be the same. Hugs 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted June 8, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 I've been listening to a song by Anne Murrey "you needed me". My Mary dedicated this song to me at our wedding. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted June 8, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 http://youtu.be/-X79Jko9bBI 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted June 8, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 She also dedicated this to me long before out wedding. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted June 8, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 A few pic from a photo shoot while Gracie was still in the hospital and tiny. She's a little princess. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted June 8, 2016 Author Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 She has my heart. Even though my heart aches. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted June 8, 2016 Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 Our granddaughters always have our hearts. I love her choice of head bands. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted June 8, 2016 Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 Butch, "You Needed Me" was our song also. The lyrics represent my life and how Ron changed it. I played that vinyl album to it's death. It takes all my strength to listen to it now, but I thank you. He has been gone for over three years. My soul remains empty. Gracie is a precious doll and gets more beautiful each day. Cherish those "naptimes". Karen 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 8, 2016 Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 13 hours ago, R.Everit55 said: my heart bursts with joy but aches that their Grammy Mary is missing it all. Ahh, but Mary has the twins to look after! And somehow I think she sees and knows what's going on. After all, we don't see God but He knows what's going on, maybe it's like that with them after they are no longer limited by their bodies. Your song is hard to listen to, makes me cry. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted June 8, 2016 Report Share Posted June 8, 2016 Butch, I didn't listen to the music, some I just cannot listen to yet. But, I love the new picture you put up. And, as Kay says, Mary has the twins to look after. What a heartfelt thing to say Kay and strangely, it makes perfect sense. I like that. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Widowedbysuicide Posted August 27, 2016 Report Share Posted August 27, 2016 I know this thread is a few months old and that life continues to be less than great but I just have to say, Butch you are incredible. I'm so sorry to learn of some of what you've gone through. It seems that life has thrown you far too many sorrows. For every good pitch and home run there seems to be those devastating foul balls. Your lovely bride has to be beaming with pride knowing how much you love her and all your family. If she were here things would be so much better but she isn't, yet you are doing a incredible job of keeping everything together. I hope you take time to recognize what all you have done on your own. Your mother must be very proud of you too. I'm so glad that you have had such great women loving you in your life. Your mother raised a good son and your bride married that great man. Gracie has the best Granpy ever! 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted August 27, 2016 Report Share Posted August 27, 2016 8 minutes ago, Widowedbysuicide said: Your mother raised a good son and your bride married that great man. Gracie has the best Granpy ever! Marita, you said i t so perfect that I am just gonna copy. Hugs to all. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
R.Everit55 Posted August 27, 2016 Author Report Share Posted August 27, 2016 Marita you are too kind. My heart thanks you. My heart thanks everyone here even though I have few words. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted August 27, 2016 Report Share Posted August 27, 2016 Just had to chime in...I agree! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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